A couple years ago, someone recommended that I check out Gretchen Rubin’s book the four tendencies. There’s an online test you can take that sorts people into one of four different groups based on how they tend to handle internal and external expectations. I took the test and also ended up buying a copy of the book. But to be honest, it seriously bummed me out. I fit pretty easily into the “rebel” tendency. This basically means I’m a huge pain in the ass. Not only will I not meet your expectations, I also won’t do things that I want to do. It’s an absolutely frustrating thing to be a rebel. The more I read about it, the more I felt like… what’s the point? I’m just going to find a way to rebel against everything. It sucks.
There’s only one potentially useful thing I got from checking out Gretchen Rubin’s book. (In her defense, it’s a great book and I’d really like to check it out again now that I’ve had some time to process how frustrated I feel with being a rebel.) The thing I learned is that rebels like challenges. Especially if you tell me I can’t do something, I’m going to want to do it. But if I look at a sink full of dishes, it’s SO EASY, and SO LIKELY, for me to make up excuses to avoid doing it. But if I think of it differently and ask “Do you think you can wash all these dishes in 15 minutes?” Something possible but challenging. OR maybe: “How fast can you get all of these dishes spotless and also have the sink and counter clean?” That shit kinda works for me. It’s maybe the only thing I’m currently aware of that can overcome my annoying rebel tendencies.
So with this all said, here’s some challenges I’m currently working on:
- Can I go one whole year without alcohol? I’m already 6 months in and kicking ass on this one. Anything shorter might have failed. The challenge seems to work best when it’s big enough to be really challenging
- Can I make a post on medium every day? How long can I go? I’m going to try to be realistic here. My goal is to make posts because it makes me feel good and gets some of the thoughts out of my head and out into the world. I like doing it. So even if I don’t manage to keep up with posting every day, I want to focus on posting content as much as I am able to. But after I finish writing this, I’ll be on day two of a streak. Let’s see if I can keep it going…
- Can I create some structure in my life? This is one that most people probably can’t relate to. But because of the path I’ve taken in my life, I’ve usually just had gig work. Whether it’s a performance on trumpet, a piano tuning, a session in the studio. My life has not had much deliberate time based structure since I’ve been out of school. And that’s been about half my life at this point. It’s REALLY HARD for me to create structure and stick to it. That stupid rebel tendency probably contributes to this one. I will admit that I feel pretty far from figuring this one out, but I am feeling open to it. And I think it might be the thing that will help a lot of other things in my life start to come together.
- Can I spend nothing? This one is really interesting to me. It was brought to my attention as a challenge. I have tried it a few times and I think I really like it. Basically the idea is to figure out a budget for what you absolutely need to spend. This would of course include any bills and other necessities such as food, gas, utilities, rent or mortgage. But there’s the opportunity to take a look at those things and ask yourself if there are any opportunities to cut back on expenses? Do you really need that subscription? How much do you really need to spend on food? It’s an interesting challenge. I have decided that I want to try to stick to a spend nothing challenge until I have paid off the rest of the debt I am still carrying from studio equipment and a period of time a couple years ago when I injured myself and couldn’t work for months and racked up some credit card debt. It’s 100% possible to tie these two challenges together and it’s my plan.
So for now, I’m going to stick to these challenges and if at least one of them goes well, you’ll probably be seeing a lot of updates
